Everyone, no matter what their particular parenting perspective is, tells you two things about having a baby. 1. They will grow up so quickly, and 2. You will love them more than you ever thought possible. For me, the first several weeks of motherhood were tough. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I certainly hadn’t had a chance to even begin to understand my feelings for my sweet baby girl. I was too worried about too many things, and too full of postpartum hormones to think clearly.
My sister was over this weekend and we were looking through photos on her phone, and I found these, from when Georgie was a few days old (please don’t judge my hair, I honestly have no idea what’s happening there):
Those feelings from the early days came rushing back, and it was remarkable to realize how differently I feel now, both about my capabilities as a mother and about the pure and overwhelming love I feel for my daughter. Instead of spending so much time worrying about every little thing (Is she getting enough milk? Am I spoiling her if I let her take naps on me? When should I start her on a schedule!!?) I am loving being a mother. I cherish her sweet smile and chubby thighs, and hope every minute of every day that I am loving her and teaching her and protecting her and comforting her in all of the ways that she deserves.
We walked around downtown this afternoon and on our way back home, we stopped in a wine store. Georgie was in her stroller and she was sleepy. The wine store was chilly from the air conditioning, it smelled deliciously like pizza and cookies (the guys working there had just ordered in food), and the speakers were playing the most mellow Iron & Wine songs. Pretty much as soon as we got in the door, Georgie’s eyes got heavy and she fell asleep. She rarely sleeps in her stroller (my girl is a total crib sleeper) and I couldn’t help but just stand back and stare at her. Her chubby cheeks, her sweet feet, her heavy breathing.
Often times at night, once Georgie has gone to sleep, I scroll through photos of her on my phone and smile. I am so not a morning person, but I love waking up to hear her chatting away in her crib, and being greeted with her huge smile when I go in to say good morning and pick her up. I love when I’m holding her and she puts her head on my shoulder to rest. I love taking her to music class and watching her sheer joy as the music plays. She is such a delight and I am overwhelmed with love and happiness that I get to be her mother.
